Juniper and I had “words” this week.
It ended up with us both feeling pretty low
ED has crept back a little.
A friend of Junipers mentioned she was dieting. That caused a problem.
I mentioned the amount of fat in a dish (my fault i know)
Juniper felt she could not see someone she was intending to visit as she thought it would be triggering
She has been exercising a bit more than normal.
Little bits of restricting.
So a bit crap and a bit fraught of late. I have been biting my tongue.
What flipped me was half eaten chocolate fingers and a broken off bit of brownie in the cake tin.
I have for months it seems said to Juniper when she leaves half broken biscuits “that’s odd ” “just eat it all” but it has continued. This week she baked some chocolate Brownies.,, (they are brilliant) . She broke some off a piece and left a small piece in the boX. I asked her to throw the other piece away and she didn’t. I flipped..and started crying. I don’t know where the tears came from. I told her” I hate the half eaten biscuits and cakes…it’s like finding a mouse dropping from Ed” . He is saying to me “hi I am still here….I am still in your house I am still in your life “
We hugged and kissed (she was going away for the weekend).
I think we both felt better.
The lesson I have learned is that being honest about how you feel is a two way process. The sufferer perhaps needs to hear about how the carer is feeling from time to time. I suspect carers don’t say how we are feeling as we are trying to care. On reflection I should have mentioned it earlier…how i felt about the mouse droppings.
Sometimes it’s hard to get out of protective Dad mode.
I am off to get a mouse trap!