I believe all people with an eating disorder, even those who are deep into their ED, want to get better. I know a lot of folks reading this may completely disagree with me, but I really do think that. I mean no one wants to be constantly tormented and abused by Ed. No one wants to not be able to go out to eat and enjoy time with family because Ed won't let them.
Today Juniper ate a doughnut. She blogged about it. It’s fantastic that something like that can make me so proud.
But my pride on what Juniper has achieved is tinged with some degree of sadness.
I know other parents who can’t wait to celebrate doughnut day with their kids. For them it might be some time off. I hope it’s soon.
I know other parents who are in the very early stages of coming to terms with this pernicious illness and are in the ostrich , kangaroo, rhino , and jellyfish stage. No doubt changing from one to the other a couple of times a day. I know I did.
My wife and I are going to meet some parents of Junipers friends from the clinic. It will be odd meeting people for the first time that we have never seen , but whom we have so much in common. We are all on the same journey.
There are times when things seem so bleak and frightening and you feel so helpless that it is genuinely painful.
Then your kid eats a doughnut. Who would have thought it. In March of this year I wouldn’t.
So to all parents at whatever stage your child is at on their journey, keep the faith, your doughnut day will come.
For what seems like ages there is nothing to report
Those of you who follow Junipers blog will know she is in a good place, applying for jobs and working hard at Uni.
I am delighted to report ED hasn’t featured much in our lives for the past few weeks.
I have a new follower my youngest daughter BC (xxxx) . I have never discussed this blog with her , so will have an interesting conversation i suspect when she come home from her Uni. Love you BC
My in laws are living with us after my mother in law had a hip replacement 4 weeks ago
My Dad is in hospital and I have to help my Mum select a nursing home. Sadly he has lost capacity and my Mum can’t cope with him at home any more.
I am not listing the above for sympathy, anything but, it is easy to cope with fixing problems you can fix. The problem with ED of course is I cant fix that.
Enjoy what you do Juniper. Think about how you feel now the excitement, the enthusiasm , adrenaline , enjoying friendship, laughter, and freedom….every day can be like it has recently. Its called living life with out ED. You know this. You are on a roll kiddo. Keep it going.
A few days ago i asked for some help from ED sufferers so i could create a page of what parents should and should not do. Thank you for the responses. A new page has been created on the blog “Parent Dos and Donts”
Every single reply contained advice which I had not read in any of the books i have studied while seeking to understand anorexia.
The one piece of advice given by all who responded was and I paraphrase “Keep loving us”.
Further tips always welcome
Wednesday is weigh day
Juniper has put on 0.3 of a kilo.
We are happy . She is happy. Everyone’s happy.
Today Juniper also was notified she has been invited for an interview at an advertising agency. She is over the moon and rightly so.
Strange days, challenging days, happy days. Long may they continue.
I read a sad post on another forum today. It was from a Dad who clearly was floundering and desperate with a daughter who had severe ED issues, was self harming etc. all i could say was ….it’s hard. It’s a long road. Not much use really.
I know ED sufferers follow his blog. I know some other parents do to. I, we Dads, Mums, parents carers….need your help. We really really really do.
What do we need to do that helps ED sufferers ? You know. You are the children. We don’t have a clue. All we know is what we thought was right was wrong as someone/something else ED has taken over the control/influence we once had.
I want you to tell me the things that your parents carers and friends have done for you so I can create a list for everyone else.
Lets have a list of Dos and Donts
Over to you.