Forum for parents and carers

I joined a forum today called. ” Around the Dinner Table Forum”

It’s organised by F.E.A.S.T. (Families Empowered and Supporting Treatment of Eating Disorders)

I haven’t participated in anything yet. But it looks interesting. You might want to take a look.

If I am honest I don’t like the acronym for the group. The forum name “around the dinner table” worries me a little to.
We have had some great times around our dinner table. We have also had some pretty stressful times too.

Maybe I am feeling touchy today….I read on Junipers blog she has had a tough weekend. I don’t subscribe automatically to get her blog, so sometimes i can be a few days behind reading it. I don’t know why I don’t subscribe, it feels like prying…….prying to read a blog that someone posts to be read…..get your head round that one Confucius my old buddy!

I hope she has a better week next week. She and he sister BC come home on Friday, can’t wait to see them both. We won’t FEAST, but we will sit round our table and I know we will have some good times.

Dads …….stand up and be counted..lets help each other out.

http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/

I came across a US survey which asks Dads what they think about resources dealing with Ed

If i answer from a UK Dads perspective i would say that there is the best part of bugger all. I know I found it reallyl hard to get ED info that I trusted and could rely on.

Anyway the survey link is above.

Good to know someone is taking aun interest. So it’s the least I can do to answer the few questions.

Confucius says…….. (possibly)

“After a shite week at work open two bottles of Rioja”

I do jest of course he wouldn’t have had Rioja!

Nightmare week at work. But I guess that is true for many who read this.

I am supposed to be on holiday next week but know i will be online to the office each day . No change for gazillions of others i suspect.

BC is on the Uni ski trip. Her essentials were paracetamol, plasters, and a bottle of vodka!

Juniper has handed in her coursework and will have a bit of a break over the weekend. But will be working hard I know as she has a few weeks to go before her University career ends

So all in all…………..it’s a relatively normal Tomagcro family week….or as normal as it gets in our house….ED is low on our respective horizons.

Junipers back home a week today.BC a week tomorrow. Cant bloody wait!

Happy Easter if I don’t blog before

Confucius says…..

This week Juniper asked me to read part of a project dealing with UK business in China. It was really good. One part referred to the philosophy of Confucius.

I googled him and found some of his quotes.

I thought I would share them every now and then. Some of them seem to work for both ED sufferers and their carers

So for starters

Confucius says………. “It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop.”

It works for me. I know Juniper has reached the stage where she wants to stop weighing herself as she is just about at her target and feels the stress off the weekly weigh in is not worth the grief and angst. I get that.

So slowly slowly catchee monkey. Dunno who said that but suspect i wasn’t my new Chinese mate.

In the wilderness

I had a comment posted on my blog today. It was from another Dad who sounded as though he was pretty upset, frustrated and desperate. I don’t get comments that often. I also feel i am never qualified to offer any meaningful advice other than refer to books which have helped me a little.

Being a parent of a daughter with an ED is massively draining. You worry a lot especially when their weight is low. You worry when an event happens which may trigger restriction. You worry that what you do or say may be triggering. There are times you feel you wander about in a daze.

As a parent ED enters your life. He was invited he isn’t welcome. He is hard to get rid off. He is a cancerous shit.

Juniper has had a tough few weeks. Her own blog records this. I tend not to blog if she is in a bad place as i don’t want to make things worse as she reads this.

So to the Dad who commented on my post to “letter to anorexia” I say

Hang in there. I have been where you are.
Only your daughter can do it but she can do it alone
Be a dolphin……..it’s really hard but if you can it makes family life better.
Read lots. There might be one tip which helps.
Tell your daughter you love her lots. When I posted about advice for parents from ED sufferers the consistent piece of support children wanted was to be told they were still loved. It’s ED we hate.
When its time and right for you, write your own letter to ED. it’s hard it’s painful to do it but you may find it satisfying.
Speak to other parents in the same position. We have. We don’t speak to them often but it’s great to know they are there. Other parents of ED sufferers know where you are, know where you have been and hopefully can offer some support along the journey.

Our kids are the most important things in our lives. I know mine are. Since the day they were born we have tried to keep them safe. ED is a danger to hundreds of thousands of people. He thrives because he is sly, and people don’t recognise he exists and sufferers at the beginning love him. It’s a crying shame that Anorexia is not higher on the agenda of those concerned with health issues. It affects so many and their families.